building the frame….

being on your own as a freelancer is no easy task. you make your own hours. you set your own schedule. you have to get out there and prove to yourself and others why you’re the best at what you do. it’s all about you. you. you. it can either make you narcissistic or simply mad. self doubt and questioning are always a contender you have to beat, and nothing can be taken seriously. unless of course it really is something serious. you are your best promoter and your own worse enemy.
I’ve been in meeting land, as my good friend and successful freelancer holly put it. it’s been exhilarating if not exhausting. so far everyone has been warm and welcoming and I am so grateful. the film business is a tough one to be in, highly competitive and at times cruel but the reception I’ve been receiving is amazing. I’ve been working hard to build a strong foundation, a sturdy framework to build off of. it might be from production design that these references come up but it’s true. without a strong ground to build up, it’s going to topple. get that sorted out and you can add all the other things to make it bigger and better. this is my second run at this freelancing bit. I wasn’t so smart the first time around and worked myself to the ground. relationships were strained and my own self worth was questioned at the end of every show. I don’t want to repeat that again. it’s a delicate wire to walk on. you want nothing more than to be successful but at what cost? my best friend hellen finally called it quits on a job she had been on. her health was deteriorating and yet she was expected to go on. she determined that it wasn’t worth it and as scary as it was to stop working, it wasn’t worth her well-being. she had done it before, worked herself so hard she began to have health issues. it was a hard to accept but it taught us something about ourselves. we have to draw parameters and stick within it. so we are both working on that….
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